October 13 2014,
This year has been a tough year for my body image. I weighed 105 pounds before my hospitalization, which was 10 months ago - and since then I've gained weight. How much - I'm not quite sure, because we don't own a scale in the house.
It's not really about what the number is, but it is more about how I feel about myself.
I've always been skinny, and I can eat like a horse and not gain any weight. Now it's a different story. My metabolism has slowed down, my pants don't fit, my tops are too tight... and I will be hitting my 40s soon - it all just doesn't help.
I use to shop in the junior's department because I could never find clothes in the women's department that would fit. In the junior's department I would stick with t-shirts and not so revealing tops, and shorts that weren't too short, and pants that weren't too tight.
These days - I have migrated from the junior's department and into the women's department. It is all foreign to me. Buying clothes that are not t-shirts, buying pants that are not jeans. Looking for a size small instead of an extra small.
Here I am now buying "grown-up" clothes in the women's department. Yes, I still have those junior's t-shirts, and I do still stroll through the junior's department, but I am getting more comfortable in my sophisticated clothes. Bring it on.
Quilt & Bitch