Dear Friends,
This is a scary time for all of us. I'm just going to lay it out there. I have had numerous anxiety attacks. From shortage of food, chaos, to the end of the world. What keeps on replaying in my mind is the television series called "Falling Skies" with Noah Wyle. I am starting to have dreams and nightmares of chaos.
I am thankful for hubby always being there. I'm able to talk to him where he would calm me down from my vivid imagination.
What I'm most scared about is the chaos that I replay, where there is no law and order. People starting to break into people's houses. I am not scared of death or dying, but I am scared of the journey.
I have been quilting. I have a wedding quilt that needs to be done by June that is a king size. My goal this week is to finish the top, which will be approximately 110 x 98. Then it will take me a month to quilt it.
I have been listening to audiobooks from our library digital collection.I am so thankful with for technology. Our library also has a subscription to CreativeBug.com. I can continue learning new art technique. Check out what your library's digital collection is, and get familiar with it. My library still has librarian that you can email. So you can reach them by email and they may be able to help you navigate the world of digital / electronic collection.
I have been getting in touch with friends. Some friends, I check-in once a week, and that's all we need. Some friends I check in once a day, some friends, I check in multiple times a day. Even if there is nothing to talk about, when there is silence, it it still ok. You know when you need to check on a friend who may need you more than once a week. I am grateful to be able to have hubby. Some of my friends don't, and they are alone. So this is the time to reach out to them. Sometimes you need them, sometimes they need you.
I have been working. Since hubby and I are in tech, we are relatively busy. We are able to help people who need technical help remotely. This has kept us relatively busy as people migrate to the cloud or setting up webcam etc.
I have been crying. This goes back to the anxiety. I just let the tears come. I have tried meditation, but it is too hard for me. My quilting and sewing is my form of meditation.
Now is the time to find friends that you can trust and reach out to them. You will be able to gauge how much they need you and how much you need them. If they are starting to become a burden, don't be afraid to tell them. If they are your friends, they won't take it personally.
I have been shopping. I have been taking stock (at reasonable amounts) of what we need. There are only two of us. We have been running the dishwasher twice a week, instead of the normal once a week. I started to panic about running out of dish washing tabs. So when I went out yesterday, I bought dish washing tabs, floor cleaners, bathroom cleaners, and toilet bowl cleaners. After I bought them, I felt much better and it calmed me down. I am planning my meals more carefully so that one of us only has to go once a week to purchase food and any other necessity. So I make sure I have enough things to make that we can eat for a week. We have frozen food and meats, but we are trying not to touch that unless we need to. Hubby has been dipping into the Trader Joe's Mac' n Cheese, so I replenish it when we go out.
I have been taking every day one day at a time. I have been fluid. I am usually very stringent and need to stick to a plan. At this time, one has to try to be fluid. Things are changing by the hour. The day the library was closing, I was lucky to have gotten a call from the librarian saying that I have books that I need to pick up. He told me ahead of the crowd that all the town library were closing. I was then able to pick up my book and get more books for hubby. That day I came home with 7 books for hubby. The next week, the library announced that they were doing curb side pick up. I ordered 5 more books (the limit) for curb side pickup. I am thankful to be able to not procrastinate and have books for hubby. This will last him a while. He reads every night before bedtime. I choose the books, and he reads it. Then he gives me four ratings. 1. More 2. Yes 3. Ok 4. No. I have a spreadsheet that I maintain that lists the books with his ratings. In 2012 I wrote a blog post about My Love Affair With Books, if you are interested.
I have been breathing. Breathing is good. Taking deep breaths. One foot in front of the other.
I have been on social media-ing. I distract myself by reading the post on groups that I have joined and folks I follow. I have been looking at Instagram to get inspiration. Oh, I am on Instagram under the handle @quiltandbitch.
I have been playing Farmville. I secretly play Farmville. I have a group of online friends whom are on it. They are from all over the country and all over the world. One woman actually works at the Atlanta CDC. When I have a huge panic attack, I'm Facebook Messenger her and she will give me the scientific answer in laymen term. Farmville takes my mind away.
I am thankful that I have all these venues I can go "visit" during the day.
What my friends are doing. After touching base with my friends, they have been cleaning, organizing, cooking, quilting, and mainly going through their UFO's (unfinished objects) and getting things done.
I hope you all are well, healthy and sane. Please use good judgment when going out.
Quilt & Bitch
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